Eternal
by CoffeeLover88
Summary: 'She saved me.' - Stefan Salvatore
1. One

'I love you.'

I stop, my hand already on the doorknob and breathe in deeply trying to control my emotions. I turn and find her standing at the bottom of the staircase, tears still leaving tracks on her cheeks. I have to fight to keep myself from walking back and pulling her into my arms. 'I know.' My grasp doesn't loosen on the doorknob because I know that this isn't an exclamation of a changed mind, her decision is still the same. She's simply still trying to reassure me of her motives.

'It's not forever Stefan.' She cries again. I know she is trying to reassure herself this time. 'I just need to learn how to be a vampire without worrying if I'm going to pull you over a cliff. And he's the only person that can show me how to do that.'

'I know.' I appease because I understand why she can't see it for what it is, not now, not when her world is already falling to pieces around her. I give her one last encouraging smile, wanting nothing more than to get as far away from everything Mystic Falls, as possible. I pull the door open but before I can take even a step she's in front of me, her arms around my neck.

'I'm sorry.'

I hug her back for as long as I can before I start to pray for a stake to drive through my own heart. 'Goodbye Elena.' And then I'm gone.

That was five years ago.


	2. Two

It was a call a week earlier that has me standing where I am now. A call begging me for the hundredth time to come to see her graduate.

_'Stefan Salvatore, if you don't come I swear your best friend card is going to be officially revoked.'_

I know she didn't mean it, especially since she had just moments earlier been joking about how next time she goes to college she want's me to come with her. Still I knew she wanted me here for this. She'd accomplished the one thing she'd been working her entire life for. So despite the jokes I knew it was important to her.Still.

_'There's probably going to be tons of other people there for you.'_

I try to sound as casual as possible but she catches the underline question in my words and the silence is defaning. I try to go on as if I don't know what she's thinking. As if she dosn't know that the prospect of seeing Elena again causes every nerve in my body to scream run!__

'I'm just kidding. Of course I'll be there.'

And after a beat or two she lets it go.

So now here I stand in front of The Bording House, willing myself to walk up the drive. I listen for any indication that there is anybody home and pull out my phone in relief when I'm met with silence.  
'Are you here yet?' She dosn't even say hello.  
'I'm standing outside The Boarding House.' I wince against the glare of the sun as I look up at the huge house. I hear a door shut through the phone.  
'Why are you standing outside?' She asks and even if she dosn't already know the answer, my silence is telling. She sighs and I hear a car door slam. 'She's not there Stefan.' There's a twing of irritation in her voice.  
'Who?' I ask with blantantly false casuilty then follow it up with an equally tense laugh. 'I know. I checked.'  
'Ease dropping? So beneath you.' There's scolding in her tone and I'm effectivly shamed. 'She's with Bonnie at another dress fitting. Apparently her train is to long or something and she's freaking out so Jermey asked her to go with her.'  
'And where's Damon?' It's easier to ask about my brother.  
She laugh's. 'I don't know out kicking little kid's probably.' I smile. 'I'm coming to get you. And before you say anything we haven't hung out in like two month's! There's no argument that you can make that you'll win so just give up now.'  
Laughing, I start walking in the opposite direction of the house. 'Where are we going?'  
'Hmm well we can go to the grill' She cuts me off before I can come up with any lame excuses. 'or there's this bar near school that has good music.'  
'That sounds good.'  
'Cool. OK I'll see you in ten.'  
'Minutes?'  
'Bye.' She sings before hanging up on me.  
Sometime's I see little thing's in her, thing's that reminded me so much of Lexie that it hurts. But the bigger thing's, thing's she says or does, they are just so uniquely Caroline that I'm reminded that she is a different person completely. It's in those moment's that I'm aware of how lucky I am to have been given not one but two amazing women for a best friend.  
I wait the fifteen minutes it takes her to get here standing in the shadows of the woods. When she pulls up she lifts an eyebrow in question.  
I climb into the passanger seat and she turns down the radio. 'Creep much?' Before I can come up with an answer she has me wrapped in a hug. 'Ugh I've missed you!'  
I smile and wrap my arms around her. 'I've missed you too.' We pull apart and she puts the car in drive. 'So ten minutes huh?'  
'Oh don't be such a baby. Who were you hiding from?'  
'I wasn't hiding.' I respond a bit embarassed.  
She laughs while turning the radio off completely. 'Right, so it was just the warm cozy feeling that had you sulking in the shadows?'  
'As a matter of fact yes. I've lived in California for the last three years. I've missed nature.'  
'Well you know if the sunshine and sand aren't doing it for you anymore you can always come back home.' Her tone is light but I know there's ernest beneath it.  
'This – isn't my home anymore.' I answer tentativly.  
Instead of berating me like I know she want's to, she chooses to change the subject. 'They know your here you know.' I must not be hiding my hurt as well as I thought because she continues on with a hint of guilt in her blue eyes. 'I mean they know your coming, not that your here. Otherwise they would have been there.'  
I shake my head. 'It's fine. I wasn't expecting some huge welcome back Stefan party or anything.' She shoots me another guilty look and I cant help but laugh. 'I'm serious, it's fine. I'm here for you Caroline nobody else.' She looks as if she's about to cry so I hurry on. 'So are you excited?'  
'About what?' She asks after clearing her throat.  
'About what? Your graduating from Collage in three days!'  
She shrugs. 'Not really.' There's an emotionlessness in her voice that wasn't there a millasecond ago.  
'What's wrong?'  
'Nothing. Why?'  
'You just don't sound as thrilled about it as you did a few days ago.' She shrugs. 'What is it?'  
'Nothing.'  
An emotionless Caroline always makes me feel hopeless. 'Tell me.'  
'It's just finally hit me is all. I mean all this time I've thought it was this huge thing but I see it now It was pointless. All of it.'  
I sigh. 'Care'  
She cut's me off and fire is back in her eyes. 'No I'm serious Stefan! What good did it do me? I mean Graduation is supposed to be this huge thing before you go out into the world and get this amazing job and become something. At least that's what I always wanted it to be. But look at me!' Tears are shimmering in her eye's now. 'I'm supposed to be twenty-two years old and I'm still walking around in a seventeen year old body! I can't exactly go off and take the world by storm.' I'm at a loss for words. How do I tell her she's wrong when I know that she's right?  
'You can always move to LA with me. Nobody there looks their age.' I fear that my attempt at a joke will cause more harm than good, but am relieved when after a second she let's out a melodic laugh.  
'God I've missed you.' And just like that, she's back to her cheery self.

She pulls into the parking lot of a bar called Sal's and cuts the engine. Gives me a curious look when I don't move to get out. 'What's wrong?'  
'I just want to say something.' She turns in her seat to face me. 'What you've accomplished is amazing Caroline so be proud of yourself. I am.' Despite the smile on her face I know she isn't convinced and I sigh. ' And second, I was serious about only coming here for you. I didn't want my being here to be a big deal.' Off of her questioning look I laugh and tap my ear once. She rolls her eyes dramatically and lets out a frustrated growl.  
'You couldn't have even pretended to be surprised? How did you know?'  
Laughing I follow suit as she gets out of the car. 'I know you about as well you know me. '  
She tosses her head back in exasperation.' It was the grill thing right? I knew I should have put up more of a fight!'  
I don't have the heart to be upset with her because I know her own is in the right place. So to give her a break I point behind her at the bar window. 'And I saw Matt walk by when we pulled up.'  
She stomps her foot in irritation. 'I'm going to kill him!' Linking her arm through mine we make our way toward the entrance. 'But I was at least a little believeable right?' I laugh and nod even though my nerves are shot to hell. 'Hmm maybe I will go back to LA with you. I can be a famous actress!' She tosses her arm dramatically while giggling and doing a periotte. The purity in her laugh makes me briefly forget what awaits me inside. She stops just outside the door and I know she can see the panic on my face. 'OK stop. It's only awkward if you let it be.' I nod and try to get pumped up enough to feel as confident as she sounds. 'I've got your back, you can do this.'  
I let out a pointless breath and nodd. Her arm slips back through mine and she pulls me through the door.  
The first voice I hear is Matt's, he's standing just inside the door with an apologetic smile on his face. 'Sorry.'  
Her eyes narrow playfully for the briefist of a moment before she shakes her head. 'He knew anyway.'  
He laughs before shaking my hand and pulling me into a hug. 'Hey man.'  
I'm surprised by the gesture for a second, neither of us are exactly the hugging type. 'Hey.' It's only after we pull apart that I notice the petite red head standing behind him. He laughs and pulls her forward.  
'This is my girlfriend Veronica. V this is Stefan.'  
She smiles and holds out her hand. 'It's nice to finally meet you.'  
'It's a pleasure to meet you Veronica.'  
Her hand drops from mine and entwines with Matt's. 'I was starting to think you didn't exsist.'  
We all laugh before Matt's gaze fall's over my shoulder. Fully expecting who is behind me I take another useless breath before turning.  
'Hello brother.' The smirk that I've known since childhood is in place but I can see that it isn't meeting his eye's.

'Damon.' I step forward and catch us both by surprise with my embrace.  
There is a seconds pause before his arms move up and embrace me back. 'It's been too long.'

I pull back suddenly uncomfortable. I smile and his eye's are searching mine trying to decipher my next move. I feel the tips of Caroline's fingers brush the back of my hand and the tension in my shoulders ease. I smile and give a nod. 'It has. Luckly we have eternity to catch up.' My joke seem's to knock him off-kilter yet again. Obviously he'd been expecting an entierly different meeting, which given certain circumstances I can't really blame him. He say's nothing more as Bonnie steps forward, her hand linked with Jermey's. She let's it go as she reaches up to hug me. There's no hello or welcome back, just a smile that light's her eye's and has my own widening a bit. She stand's on the tips of her toes and wraps her arms around my neck. 'Hi.' I know I sound confused by her greeting and she laugh's lightly.  
'You're different.' I'm left puzzled by the whispered statement as she pulls away and Jermey step's forward.  
'Jermey.' He smiles and shakes my hand before pulling me into a quick hug much like Matt had.  
'Welcome home man.'  
Again I'm left with a disocncerting feeling but still I smile. 'Thank you.' I glance around the group of people, Damon is now sitting at the bar with a scotch in his hand. Veronica murmer's something to Matt then lean's up and kisse's him on the cheek before walking over and taking a seat beside him. I watch with curiousity as she order's a drink of her own but nether of them speak. The scene seem's so fimiliar. Alarec. The thought has me remembering that there's someody missing. I turn back to where Damon had been standing and find her sitting at a table alone, staring at me. I watch her for a moment, transfixed by the sight of her. I'd imagined it would feel different, seeing her again. Like it did the night I left. Instead I find myself feeling relieved. Relieved that it didn't hurt anymore. My nerves fall away and we seem to sigh with relief simultaniously. She smile's and so do I. She get's up and walk's over still tentative in her movement's but I suspect that has less to due with me and more to due with the six set's of eye's staring at us. She step's easily into my arm's.  
'Hi.' It's simple and it's enough.  
I smile into her hair. 'Hi.'  
'Wonderful. Not that we've got that all done with' We pull apart and Damon is standing beside Bonnie, a tray holding eight glasses and a bottle of scotch held at level with his head. Veronica silently returns to her place beside Matt and slide's her hand into his. He balances the tray in the air with one hand and smile's the way he does when he is uncomfortable. 'let's drink.'  
Everyone is quiet, not knowing how to respond. I take a step toward him and pat him on the back with my own smile still in place. 'You know Damon I think that's the best idea you've ever had.' My eye's meet Caroline's for a second and she smile's proudly. I gesture to the table where Elena had been sitting and look around. 'Shall we?'


	3. Three

Three hours later and I'm standing at the bar waiting for my drink. The place is considerably fuller now that the sun has gone down so it's taking longer then usual for the bar tend to return. It's tarting to grate on my nerves when I feel somebody slide into the seat behind me. I can feel his stare burning into the back of my head so I turn.

'Damon.' I can't hide my amusement at his behavior, I've really actually missed him, I'm a cocky uncaring badass attitude and all. He narrow's his eyes as he brings his glass to his lips.

'I don't like it.'

'Like what?' It's then that the brunette bartender slides my glass in front of me and I take a drink without missing a beat.

He's still watching me with curiousity in his eye's. 'You leave without a word. Ignore everyone but Blondie - of all people, for five years and then show up here with this whole new non-broody un-Stefan like attitude acting like you've just been gone for the weekend. You're too calm, I don't like it.'

I laugh for what feel's like the millionth time since walking through the door. 'Oh come on big brother.' I slap him on the back. 'Havn't you always been the one telling me I need to learn how to relax?'

He dosn't look convinced, if anything he look's even more curious then before. 'You'll forgive me for being a bit apprehensive. Unlike everyone else here' He gestures with his drink around the bar indicating our scattered group of friends. 'I've seen what happen's when you relax a little too the help of Klaus' compelltion of course.'

It hit's me then, why he's been staring at me all night. He's worried. Instantly I feel guilty. 'I'm not that person anymore Damon.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. Really.' With a sigh I slide down into the seat behind me. 'Look, I'm sorry for leaving the way I did and for not calling.' This is one of many conversation's I've been dreading having since the moment Caroline brought up my coming back. 'Thing's were … what they were and I wasn't strong enough to be here.' His bravado falls and there is pure worry in his eyes. 'But that was then, I'm fine now I promise you.'

'Are you' I know where his question is going and I quickly shake my head.

'No. Not for awhile now anyway.'

'How long is awhile?'

I inhale sharply. 'About four and a half years, give or take a month or two.'

He nod's. 'So after you left?'

'Yeah.' Apparently we're both equally unsettled by the topic because simultaniously we take a drink. 'It was hard for the first few weeks after I left. I was in a pretty messed up place and one day I just – something snapped and I killed the first person I saw. Which happened to be the maid at the hotel I was living in.'

'Then you just stopped?' He dosn't believe me.

I stare down into my glass for a moment then shake myself. I can feel her eye's on me and I'm reminded that I'm not that person anymore. Bonnie's words ring in my ear's and I think I understand them now. I'm different. No.'

'How long?' I know what he's really asking, how many?

'A few month's.' I shake my head. 'One night I was out – hunting and I uh' It's a struggle to say the next words. 'I found these two boy's, brother's, in the park playing football. Couldn't have been more then fifteen and sixteen. I uh'

He understand's and takes another drink. Nobody knows the guilt I carry with me the way he does and only he has ever really understood why I need it. Because like he said, he knows what happens when I relax a little to much, when I start to not care.  
I decide not to tell him that the oldest of the boy's had the same crystal blue eye's as him and that I killed the younger one first just to see the heart being ripped from your chest pain in the older boys eyes. He dosn't need to know that in my head I was hurting him, not a sixteen year old boy.

'After, I had a kind of break down and I guess I called Caroline. I still don't really remember much from before she showed up.'

I glance over my shoulder and she's staring back at us with a small encouraging smile on her face. Then she turns back to Elena who was apparently also listening. She holds my gaze a moment longer before shifting her own over to Damon then back to Caroline. I turn back to my brother and I see in his eyes what I saw in her's, guilt. I choose not to comment on it now and we share an uncomfortable smile.

'So you called Blondie and she came. What'd she do? Lock you up in a basement for the last few years?'

I shake my head. I know she isn't listening anymore and I know she won't let Elena either. Because, easedropping is so beaneath her. I laugh at my own joke before answering. 'No. She was just, there. No judgment. We just talked about everything and I don't know – she saved me.' I shurg, unhappy with my inability to put what she'd done for me to justice.

He seems surprised though and there's a long moment before he says anything. 'And that's it? You talked?'

I'm confused by his tone. 'What do you mean?' It takes me a moment to understand. Oh. 'It's not like that Damon.'

'Of course it isn't.' His tone is mocking and even though I know better, I grow instantly irritated.

'It isn't.' My voice hardens just a bit and he hears it, seems to have been searching for it. He want's me to snap, not completely but enough for him to see that part of the old me is still inside. Dick. I take a breath, the slow inhale and exhale isn't necessary but cathardic. Focusing my attention on it makes me forget for however briefly about whatever is on my mind. When I open my eyes he looks both confused and amused. I'm calmer now. 'It isn't like that between Caroline and I Damon. She's' Something tells me not to finish, that I don't need to justify myself or our relationship.

'She's? What? Your ex girlfriend's best friend? So what? That would be nothing like old Stefan.' He say's it like it's a good thing and smirks. I know that he's simply trying to bait me further. He winces. 'Oh is it because she and I' He trails off wiggling his eyebrows and my fist clenches. He tosses his hand carelessly. 'Don't worry about it. Go for it. It's been years. Tell you what little brother, if it'll make you feel better, I give you my blessing.'

My fist twitches with the burning need to punch him and I remind myself, cocky uncaring badass attitude and all. It take's entierly to long for me to see his words for what they are, this isn't about me or Caroline it's about him and Elena, this is his way of easing his guilt. If I'm pissed off at him for something else then it's at least something, which in his head makes everything ok. He's been this way our entire live's, like's to pick fight's when he's hurt or feels guilty, it was the reason he and our father arguged so often. Also, Damon had an incredable gift for knowing exactly where to hit you and how to make it hurt.

I chuckle because it's the only thing I can think to do aside from hitting him. 'Contrary to your beliefs Damon, the world does not in fact revolve around you.' I take the last of the scotch into my mouth and pat him on the back while rising. I need to be clear I know. If I'm not, we'll continue this game for the rest of my visit. 'Don't worry brother.' I lean in conspiretorally. 'I don't hold it against you.' Straightening, I turn and walk away, not waiting for nor wanting to hear his response.

I have a few seconds to come up with an excuse and tell everyone bye before I blow up. I can feel my temper bubbling quickly to the edge. I quietly say goodbye to Matt and Jermey, who are surprised by my staying as long as I have, then step infront of the girl's table. They all look up at me smiling.

'Stef' Caroline tugs on my hand and pulls me into the booth beside her. 'come defend me.'

I can see in her eyes what isn't in her voice. When my hand is no longer in view she intwines her fingers through mine and squeezes it once. It's her way of telling me that she's here. I give her a greatful smile and settle beside her. I need her stregenth to keep me from walking back over and ramming my fist into Damons smirkinging face repeatedly, so I hold her hand a bit tighter when she makes to pull away. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Elena shoot us a look.

'What's going on over here?' I ask polietly, trying to not let my anger seep through.

Caroline pouts. 'They' she points across the booth at Bonnie and Elena. 'are telling Veronica lie's about me.'

The three girls laugh and Bonnie leans toward me, knocking her elbow against a full margarita. I grab the napkin from in front of me and hand it to Elena who has already begun to clean it up. Bonnie sat back in her seat in a fit of giggles.

Out of nowhere an irritated Jeremy appeares at her side.'What's goin on Bon?'

She bursts into another fit of laughter. 'On Bon. Get it Stefan? It rhymes. On Bon on Bon.'

Not knowing what else to do I laugh with her. 'Yea it does.'

Matt, who is at Veronica's side, sighes. 'Really you guy's?' His voice is admonishing.

'Oooooh Matty's mad babe.' Bonnie covers her mouth conspiratorially as Jermey lifts her to her feet.

'He's mad because these three said they'd make sure you didn't have too much.'

She shakes her head defiently while pointing at Elena. 'I drank exactly what she drank.' Elena's eyes widen and shame fills them.

'I'm sorry Jer, I didn't realize.'

He shakes his head even though it's clear that he's still irritated with her. 'It's cool. She'll be fine, but we're gonna head out.' He waves with his free hand then calls for Damon's attention and waves goodbye again. They're at the door when Bonnie breaks free and runs back over to the table.

I can feel my eyes go wide as she rushes straight at me and tosses her arms around my neck. 'I'm glad your back.' She burries her face against my neck so nobody can hear her. 'She needs you.' And for the second time within the last few hours, she pulls away leaving me speechless. Uncomfortable, I look around the table, everyone is staring at me.

'Do I have something on my face?' Success, they laugh and the awkward moment is broken. Matt pulls a chair over and flips it around. He sits beside Veronica who automatically leans into him.

He pulls a beer over and takes a drink. 'What happened? I thought you were leaving?' His question draws two set's of eyes to me.

Elena looks perturbed and she glances over my shoulder at Damon. Her hands are on her hips and I know what's coming next. 'He didn't'

Her gaze cuts to mine like it had so many times while we were together, only now she wasn't scolding her boyfriend she was scolding the person trying to defend him. Oddly, the look on her face makes me smile slightly as I hold a hand in the air in defense. Shaking her head she stomps over to the bar.

When Veronica leans forward to watch them Matt shakes his head and pushes her back with his forearm. 'Stop being so nosey V.'

'I just feel so bad. This is really hard for him.' Caroline and Matt roll their eyes as I put my arm over the back of the booth and give her a curious look.

Matt taps the table with his hands like drums. 'Who's up for a game of pool?'

Caroline glances at me worridly and I smile encouragingly back. I squeez her hand one more time before releasing it.

'I'm in.' She rises and follows Matt to a table on the other side of the bar.

So now here I sit with a virtual stranger, trying to think up something to say. Luckly she speaks first. Theres an embarrassed smile on her face and she's twirling her straw around in her vodka and coke.

'Don't get me wrong Stefan. I think the whole situation is completely messed up. When Elena first explained … everything, to me – I mean I dind't even know you but I was on your side. But then I met Damon and we got to know eachother and I just I saw something inside of him. I don't know. ' Her words had me wondering and instinctivly I glance across the room at a laughing Matt. Veronica laugh's. 'No it's nothing like that. I moved here freshman year, Elena was my roommate and we got pretty close, she came home one night' Her vision moved out of focus. 'covered in blood. She was freaking out and I, I had no clue as to what the hell was happening. I mean after I realized that it wasn't her's I started to panic but she just kept crying, I couldn't just leave her there. Eventually everything just came out.'

This story surprised me and I can feel that my eyes must be the size of saucers, completely giving way to my surprise. She laughs.

'I know what your thinking. Why the hell didn't she get out of there? Semi-new vamp, fresh from a hunt, human to make matters worse and I'm sitting there like awe poor little thing.' She laughs again and I can only follow suit. With a shrug she sets her glass down. 'She was just so … broken, that I couldn't be afraid. I helped clean her up and she asked me to call Damon for her.' Guilt flashes in her eyes and she lookes away. I really need to start working on my game face. 'They uh, she and Damon were still friend's at that time and that was the night she introduced us.' She stops and seems to still be replaying the scene over in her head. 'I'd heard of him before then. _Thee_ Damon Salvatore or Damion as Caroline like's to call him. The evil Salvatore who stole the girl and ran you out of town and who she is sure had something to do with global warming.'

I look over at Caroline with a laugh and a shake of my head. 'She may be a bit biased, but she know's it wasn't really his fault I left. Though I wouldn't be quick to dismiss the whole global warming theory.'

She laughs now, it's loud and it catches the attention of our friend's. After a second they all look away and she smiles embarrassed. 'Anyway he came. She told him she hadn't killed the girl but that it had been close and after a while he calmed her down enough that she fell asleep. Insted of leaving, he asked if he could stay and watch her. Well, less asked more said he was staying. After all of that you can imagine there was no way in hell I was sleeping that night so I stayed up with him and we talked.'

Talked? Now I am defenitly surprised. She laughs again and I have the sudden feeling that she can actually read my mind.

'I know, everone had the same reaction. The only person he apparently ever talked to aside from Elena was Alarec.' She says his name as if she knows him and I assume that she must feel as if she does. 'But it's true, we talked. All night. When Elena woke up in the morning I think she was just as surprised as anyone if not more. I think she got this horrible idea into her head that the two of us could go out but it just wasn't there. I mean after talking to him I felt like … he needed somebody. Someone to stand up with him even when they didn't fully understand what he was doing or why he was doing it. He needed somebody to tell him when he was being a dick, which I'm sure you know is one hell of a job all on it's own. Mostly he just needed someone to be there in his corner, someone he always knew would be there standing with him, not against him.'

I feel a wave of emotion wash over me, this girl has known him all of what? Four years? She understood things about Damon after one night that it took me nearly a centry to fully grasp. I want to hug her, to thank her, but I can't because despite it taking me a bit longer then her to understand how he works, I do know him. Damon, with all of his cocky smirks and I'm amazing attitude, is as insecure as anyone I've ever met. He wears his heart on his sleeve yet never let's anyone inside because he's constantly afraid that they'll see him and run screaming.  
She started talking again or hadn't stopped and I wasn't listening, I pick up mid sentence and instantly regret it. Her voice is full of compassion.

'for you so I mean, can you imagine being the guy that everyone hates? Who falls in love with his brother's girlfriend? Twice?' Part of me agrees with her, the part of me that knows the real Damon. Another part of me couldn't let go of that word, twice. She cut into my thought's after taking a sip. 'I'll be the first person to say Damon's an ass. But there's more to him then that, you off all people know that Stefan.' The way she speaks it's as if she's known us for decades and not simply a few hours, well at least in my case. 'I mean, the two of you are literally the only family one another has left. He love's you.' That sentence stops the circles I'm drawing on the table with my finger. I freeze because nobody has ever really said it. 'I mean he faught so hard Stefan, even after you left. He faught everything he was feeling because despite the fact that he is a dick the majority of the time, the only person he has absolutely no desire to hurt - is you.'

I'm actually disappointed when Caroline saunters back over and slides into the booth beside me. Nobody has ever spoken of him this way, well aside from Elena. The thought makes my stomach twist and I turn around to look at them. I don't know what I'm expecting to find but what I do surprises me. Elena has taken the seat I had been in not to long ago, she's smiling happily and Damon is watching her with a smile of his own on his face as she tells some story. His hand is over her's his thumb circling her skin. The scene is so natural, so private that insantly I feel intrusive and look away.

Matt is sitting down just as I tune back into the conversation. 'Hey it's not my fault that even with all your vampy little abilities you still suck at pool.'

We all laugh, well except for Caroline, she glares at Matt. 'I do not suck!' She turn's to me with determanation in her eyes. 'Tell him Stefan. Tell them how I kick your ass at pool all of the time.' She looks triuphent as she crosses her arms and smirks at Matt.

What do I say? 'Uh, yea. She wins every time.'

Again with my damn game face tonight. Matt and Veronica start cracking up and Caroline punches me. I wince and look at her through one eye while rubbing my arm.

'What does that mean Stefan? That you let me win?' I know she's trying not to laugh but she's failing miserably.

'Hey look at the time I think I should be going. I have a long drive ahead of me.'

She makes a buzzing sound with her mouth and points her thumb down. 'Strike one. Next lame excuse?'

We all laugh and I shake my head because I'm serious. The scene I know is still going on behind me has me losing the last of my cool rapidly. Not out of jealousy but out of irritionial hurt from long ago. Still with a smile on my face I pat her hand. 'No I'm serious, I think I'm gonna get out of here.'

She looks worried and I know what her next words are going to be. 'OK well I'll come with you.' Before I can argue she's up and has her bag in her hand. 'It's a long walk back to the boarding house I'm driving you.'

Laughing, Matt pats me on the back as he and Veronica rise as well. 'Yeah man, besides it's dangerous. You never know what's out there going bump in the night.' We all laugh and Veronica slaps him on the arm.

Elena walks over, Damon trailing behind her. 'You guy's leaving?'

'Yeah, Matt's got work in the morning.' Veronica steps forward and hugs Elena. 'I'll see you guy's tomorrow.' She repeats the action with Caroline before stepping back beside Matt. 'It was nice talking to you Stefan.'

'Yeah you to. I'll uh, I guess I'll see you at the graduation Sunday.' I wave to her and Matt as they disappear out the door then slowly turn back to Damon and Elena who look a little uncomfortable. Good. At least I'm not alone. 'So I'll see you guy's Sundy too?' Alarm flashes into Damons eyes.

'Your not coming home?' Oh.

'I got a room at the B&B in town.'

'You did?' Now Caroline sounds surprised.

'Yes. Why is it such a big deal?'

Both of their eye's narrow, both clearly thinking the same thing, is he insane. I don't understand the problem.

'Because it's your home Stefan.' I turn to Elena who's eyes are trained on the ground then at the other two who are looking elsewhere as well. Are they serious?

'Look you guy's I'm sorry if it's upsetting for you but,' I look to Caroline incrediously. 'did you really expect me to stay there?' She looks away quickly. I want so badly to laugh at the absurdity of the situation but I can't because I know that they are serious. 'OK look let's just say it, you two are together.' All of their eyes widen in perfect sync. ' I don't like it. Not because I'm still in love with her,' I look to Damon when saying this and his shoulders fall a bit in relief, as if something were being lifted off of them. 'because I'm not.' I turn to Elena who looks a little hurt. 'And that's not saying that somepart of me won't always love you, I just am not in love with you.' I look back to Damon. 'And it's not even because I'm angry with either one of you, even though I have every right to be.' The hurt from a few moments ago is back and burning inside of me like fire. I look to Elena with accusation clear in my voice. 'You don't seem to fully grasp that he's my brother.' She seems surprised that I seem to be most upset with her. 'He's the only family I have left in this world and I would think you of all people would understand that, but I really don't think you do or ever have. But despite all of that, I'm not angry.' I turn back to Damon. 'I understand and I know that if you had a choice in the matter, you would have chosen somebody else. I know that it was never intentional Damon. You don't choose your soul mate. So I forgive you guy's.' Both of their heads jerk back in surprise and even I am left reeling a little. With a tired sigh I shake my head. I want nothing more then to be as far away from this conversation as possible, but I know it's necessary. 'Eventually I'll get over this. I have to because like I said your the only family I've got and eternity is a hell of a long time.' I see something in Damon's eyes, regret? 'But until then there's only so much you guy's can expect from me.' I turn to Caroline letting her know that I'm including her in that statement and she looks just as surprised as they do. I can't hide my irritation. 'Can we go now?'  
Silently she nods and I walk away leaving her to follow.


	4. Four

She's still staring at me as we pull up outside of the Mystic Fall's B&B. I laugh as she cuts the engine and pulls the key from the ignition. I know she's going to follow me so I walk slowly up the walkway. I hear her door open and slam and I hear the click clack click clack of her high heels but still she dosn't speak. She makes it to the front door before me and stands waiting with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. I hold the door open for her with a grin and she gives me a skeptical look before walking by. Lydia, the middle aged widow and owner is standing before us before the door even closes behind me. There's a knowing smile on her face that makes us both laugh.

'Lydia, this is my friend Caroline.' I'm surprised when the two women embrace.

'Of course. I've known the girl since she was in diapers.' She pat's Caroline's hand lovingly.

Caroline laughs. 'Lydia and her husband used to live next door to us before they bought this place. She used to baby sit me while my Mom was at work.'

I nod in understanding and Lydia gives Caroline a knowing look. 'And how may I ask do you know Mr Salvatore?' There's an underline question in her tone an accusation to why she's here with me.

There's a blush in Caroline's eyes but she laughs it off. 'Stefan and I went to highschool together. He's back for graduation Sunday.'

Instantly Lydia looks embarassed by her assumption. 'Oh well isn't that sweet? You must be very special to him for him to travel all the way back from California for you.'

I smile at her pointed look. 'She is.' Again embarassment is in Caroline's eyes and she seems all to happy when Lydia begins to speak again.

'Goodness, graduation from collage already?' She takes Caroline's face in her hands. 'I could swear you weren't a day over sixteen.' I see it. The sharp cut of pain in her eyes. She laughs nervously and looks away avoiding my eyes. 'If only all of us were so lucky.' Lydia laughs. 'Well, you two have a nice night.' Again the assumption is back in her voice but this time I don't laugh. I give her a smile as she disappears into the next room.

Caroline is silent again as I walk past her and up the stairs. She walks past me with her arms crossed and her eyes downcast as I hold the door to my room open for her. She's at the minibar pulling tiny bottles from it by the time I turn back around. The dim street light is shinging on her through the window making her sullen features grief striking. With a sigh I turn on the light and she drops the bottles on the bed before falling graciously beside them. 'Care.'

She shakes her head while whipping her cheek. 'How do you do it?' She picks up a bottle and unscrews the cap.

'Do what?' I pull a chair over and watch as she downs the tiny bottle before picking up another.

'How do you leave people behind?' She brings the bottle to her lips then pauses, after a beat she downs it.

Again I don't know what to say. 'I don't know.'

She laughs and tosses the empty bottle back into the pile. 'That's a horrible answer.'

'I know.' She picks up another bottle and now I'm worried. 'Don't.'

For a moment she dosn't look like herself. Theres a look of hatred in her eyes as she smirks. 'Why? It's not like I need my liver.'

I reach over and take the bottle from her. 'Because this isn't you.' She gives me an unconvinced flick of her eyes. 'Fine then because I can't afford anymore. Do you know how much one of these things cost?' I toss it back into the pile. She laughs and I see a small piece of the wall shes put up fall. I lean forward on my knees and take her hand in mine. 'Look, I wish I could give you the answer your looking for, I really do. But I don't know. I've never been where you are Caroline. Until I met you and Elena and everybody, I spent my entire life staying as far away from people as possible.'

She looks uncertain for a moment. 'What about Lexi?'

The pain shoots through my heart before I can lock it away. Aside from a lantern five years ago I've never really delt with her death. If I'm honest with myself I know it's because if I open that wound it may take mine and Damons relationship to a place it could never recover from.  
She's watching me, waiting for a response. I shake the thought out of my mind. 'Uh. I don't know. I've never really delt with it I guess.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't' My words catch and she squeezes my hand.

'I'm sorry. Forget I asked.' She feels bad and I'm angry with myself for making her feel worse.

'Don't be sorry. I guess I just locked it away.'

'Why?'

'Well, because like I said earlier, Damon's the only family I have.' Her eyes close and she inhales a shakey breath.

'God Stefan I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking.'

I wipe a a falling tear from her cheek with the back of my hand. 'Stop apologizing.'

'I just keep picturing myself at Matt, Jermey, Bonnie's funeral surrounded by all of their kids and grandkids and I just …. I don't know how to deal with that Stefan.' The tears are falling faster and shes shaking. 'I don't know how to live knowing that someday I'm going to have to say goodbye to the people I love. And that I'm going to have to keep saying goodbye to them.' I want to make it better, I want to give her back her life, her future, but I can't.

'Hey, look at me.' Reluctantly she meets my eyes. 'I'm always going to be here for you. Even in a hundred years when your so sick of me that your going to want to stake me, I'm going to be there. I promise.'

A slow smile forms and tears continue to fall. 'I know.' I laugh and her smile grows just a bit more. 'It's what makes it not all bad. And I'll never get sick of you, your kind of literally my BFF.' I lift an eyebrow in confusion. And she laughs. 'Best friend forever.' I smile at that and laugh. She scrunches up her nose in distaste. 'Damon on the other hand' We both laugh as I sit beside her and pull her back on the bed with me. We lay side by side, my arm wrapped around her. She settles against me.

'Yeah I know. But on the plus side, you have Elena.'

'True. Also, an advantage of living forever? I get to see trends go in and out of style.'

I laugh and am reminded of something Damon has told me on more then one occasion. 'Damon's always told me to stay away from fads, they never end well.'

She pushes up on her elbows and looks down at me with merryment in her eyes. 'No way! Stefan Salvatore gives into fads?' I know my embarassment is clear on my face by the pure giddyness on hers. She lets out a loud laugh and falls back onto her back beside me. 'Oh this is premium mocking material, how is this the first I'm hearing of it?' Before I can answer she gasps and is back on her elbows looking back at me. 'Were you a hippie?' Despite my best attempts at denial her eyes widen and she let's out another giddy laugh while falling back once again. 'Oh my god! This is to perfect!' She bursts into a fit of laughter.


	5. Five

I wake to the sun shining through the window and directly into my eyes. I wince against the assult on my pupils as I sit up and look around the room then down at the spot beside me. Caroline is gone, the only sign that she was here is the folded piece of paper on the pillow.

_Hey, had to meet the girls to pick up our cap and gowns and then we have a bridesmaid fitting at 3. We should be done around 4-ish. So I'll be by after to pick you up for the party. Did I forget to mention the party? Oops! Well we have to be there early to help set up you dig? Do not stay locked inside all day!_

Peace! Care

I laugh and shake my hand at the peace sign scribbled at the bottom of the page. Oops. Yea right. I pull my phone from my back pocket and drop my legs down over the end of the bed. It rings three times before she answers. 'Please tell me you are not just waking up?' I glance over at the clock beside the bed and am surprised to find that it reads 11:45am.

'Uh, oops?' She laughs. 'So you forgot to mention it huh?'

'I swear it was a total accident.'

'Mhm.'

'So what are your plans for today?'

I pull my hands through my hair and shake my head at her avoidence of the subject. 'I don't know. I was just going to hang out here but some controlling blonde told me I'm not aloud to.'

'Controlling?! I am not controlling!'

'Who said I was talking about you?'

'Funny. Hey I'm next in line I'll talk to you later ok?'

'Yeah.'

'Groovy. Peace.'

'I'm never going to live that down am I?'

'Oh not a chance in hell.' And then the line is dead. She really needs to work on her phone ediquette.

An hour later I walk into The Grill, I don't know why I'm here aside from the fact that it's the only place other than Damon's that I could think of to go. I find the person I'm looking for right away, he's standing behind the bar laughing with a customer, there's a rag tossed over his shoulder and he's leaning back against the bar his arms crossed over his chest.  
His eyes meet mine and he smiles, he says something to the person before pushing forward, I sit down and Matt walks over.

'Hey.'

'Hey. The place looks different. Mr Manager.'

He nods and looks around. 'Yeah I changed some stuff around, updated a bit.'

'I can see that. Well it looks good.'

'Thanks.' He slides me a glass of scotch then leans on the bar. 'So what are you doing here?'

'I had some down time, thought I'd come say hello. Caroline is out picking up her cap and gown and then she has a dress fitting.'

With a laugh Matt nods his head in understanding. 'Yeah Veronica too. Bonnie's going a little crazy over the whole thing. I think this is like their third fitting for this dress.'

'This dress?'

He laughs again. 'Yeah there's been like five. She picks one, then she picks a different one.'

'Wow.'

'Yeah. But they've been pretty cool about it I think, because it's Bonnie.'

I nod in understanding. 'She's given up a lot. She deserves it.'

'Yeah. I'm just glad she isn't obsessing over the tuxes. I'd be ripping my hair out.'

'That's right, Caroline told me your the best man.'

'Yeah. But I really don't have to do anything. I mean Elena threw the engagment party and Damon pretty much commandeered the bachlor party.' A beat passes and I think he's going to say more on the topic but instead he changes the subject. 'Can I ask you a personal question?'

Inwardly I sigh. I'm not really in a mood to discuss Elena and Damon being together. Dwelling on things never end's well for me. 'Sure.'

He looks uncomfortable and I know I must too. 'You and Caroline, are the two of you?' He trails off as understanding settles over me as well as relief.

With a light laugh I shake my head. 'We're friends.'

He looks as skeptical as Damon had the night before. 'And that's it?'

I want to roll my eyes at the question but force myself not to. Instead I shake my head again. 'I wouldn't say it like that. She was there for me when I was in a really dark place, she pulled me out of it. I owe her my life.'

A moment passes, he looks as if he's trying to decide if he should believe me then he shakes his head. I'm unsure of his conclusion. 'Whatever, either way I'm just glad you're back. She's been through a lot lately, with the whole Tyler thing and then Klaus coming back. She needs somebody to talk to and she hasn't been talking to any of us.'

My body goes rigid at the mention of Lockwood's name and there's acid in my voice when I say it. 'What Tyler thing?'

He looks me over with uncertanty then with a sigh he shakes his head. 'So she dind't tell you.' It isn't a question. He sounds just as irritated by that fact as I am. 'Tyler took off they way he does a couple months back and then a couple of weeks ago he shows up, Hayle in tow. They had gotten married and his Mom threw this huge party for them. The dick sent everybody but her an invitation, even her mom.'

My grip on the glass has it shattering in my hand. I try to calm myself as a surprised Matt hurries to clean the mess. 'Sorry.' I try to sound apologetic but I'm just to angry.

He shakes his head while pushing broken glass into another rag. 'Don't worry about it, it happens all of the time.' He glances at the few customers who's attention I've gained and laughs it off. 'Cheap glasses. I keep telling the owner we need sterdier ones.'

When they turn away with an understanding laugh I'm able to work up half of a grateful smile. 'Thank's. I really am sorry.'

He puts the bundled up glass aside and shakes his head. 'Seriously, don't worry about it. The guy has a way of pissing people off. Always has.'

I shake my head and take a deep breath. It's pointless though because as I exhale his words play over in my head. 'Wait did you say Klaus is back?'

Now his posture changes and he looks around the resturant. When he turns his attention back to me he looks apprehensive. 'I think you're going to need to talk to Caroline about that.' He isn't being rude. I know what he's thinking, if my reaction to the Tyler thing was what it was then he didn't want to pour gasoline onto an already blazing fire. 'Anyway I couldn't tell you much other then he's here, or was here, I don't know. She just walked in here one day like two weeks ago looking really down and just said Klaus is back. We asked her questions but she wouldn't talk about it. Damon went looking for him but never found him. That was it. She hasn't mentioned it since.' Why would he show up and then disappear again? No he's around here somewhere. Watching her, waiting to make his move. 'Stefan man, she's fine. Calm down.' I look up and meet Matt's worried gaze. I have to shake myself back to reality. I give him a nod then pull some money out of my wallet and stand up.

'Thanks for the drink. That should cover the glass.' I drop the bills onto the bar.

'Are you going to be alright?'

No. 'Yeah. I've just gotta stop by Damon's before this party tonight.' I shake my head nonchaluntly.

He's clearly not buying it but decideds to play along and let's the subject drop. 'You get ropped into decorating?'

'Yeah. Which is weird considering I don't even know who or what the party is for.'

We both laugh at this. 'It's for me actually. I got accepted into the Graduate program at University of Marymount.' He says it as if it's nothing.

All I can think is whoa. 'Wow that's, that's amazing.' I know I must sound shocked but really I'm in awe. I stick my hand out and shake his hand. 'Congratulations.'

He looks embarrassed. 'Thanks. It not that big of a deal. V and Elena are the one's making such a big thing out of it. Personally I think they just want an excuse to throw a party.'

'It is a big deal. Let them fawn over you for a bit, you deserve it.' He laughs and gives a nod. 'I'll see you tonight.' A thought occures to me and I turn back to him. 'It wasn't a surprise was it? I mean you seem to know but I don't want to get staked for ruining a surprise.'

He laughs whole heartedly this time. 'It was, for about ten seconds. Veronica couldn't keep a secret to save her life.'

As I leave I suddenly understand what it is Caroline's been feeling. Watching your friend's grow up and move forward with their lives, knowing that you'll never be able to do the same, it takes something from you and leaves you feeling as if your insides have been hollowed out.

I need to talk to her.

I look down at my watch and see that it's only fifteen after one. She should be done with her cap and gown and her note said their appointment isn't until three. I pull out my cell and press send on the last call. I count three rings before she picks up.

'Hey, is everything OK?' She sounds worried.

No. 'Yeah why?'

There's silence for a moment. 'Nothing, I just, nevermind. What's up?' Her normal cheeryness fills the line but it's forced.

'Nothing, I'm just leaving The Grill.' Silence. 'Stopped by to talk to Matt for awhile.' More silence. 'Care?'

'Yeah.' False cheer gone. She knows I know.

'Wanna get some lunch?' I hear the soft giggle and I smile. The question is a sureway of making her laugh. Though this time it's tinted with sadness.

'Yeah.'

'I'm gonna head back to Lydia's.'

'I can be there in ten, fifteen minutes tops.' I hear protests in the background. It sounds like Bonnie. She's mid rant when her voice comes over the line.

'Stefan?' She sounds beyond stressed out.

'Uh, hi.'

'Is there some big conspiracy to sabotage my wedding that I don't know about?'

Uh. 'Uh, I, I don't'

'I mean there must be right? First Veronica and Elena bail on the dress fitting. Then the florist calls to tell me that he's unsure if he can get Lily of the valley for the bridesmaid bouquet's and want's to know how I would feel about bleeding hearts instead. Bleeding freaking heart's!'

'They're a beautiful flower.' I try to appease her but it seems to have the opposite effect.

'Half of the wedding party are Vampire's!' I try really hard not to laugh but fail miserably. I can hear Caroline laughing as well. 'It's not funny!'

'I'm sorry. Your right.'

'And now you're trying to hijack my last loyal brides maid, while still having not been fitted for your tux!'

Now I'm lost. 'I'm sorry my what?'

There's silence then a slow bubble of laughter. 'That was a good one. Agh! Not cool you guy's. You almost gave me a heart attack!' More silence. She can't really be saying what I think she is. A screech peerces my eardrum. 'You didn't tell him?' And that's the last thing I hear before the line dies.


	6. Six

I decided to head back to Lydia's anyway. Whether she's there or not, I need to clear my head. Her car is back in it's spot from the night before. I walk through the front door and am met with the sound of laughter. I follow the sound into the kitchen where I find Caroline, Bonnie and Lydia laughing over coffee.

'Mr. Salvatore!' All three women look at me simultaniously, Bonnie has a lopsided smile on her face and Caroline looks completely guilty. Lydia on the other hand, she's so blissfully unaware that I smile back.

'I apologize for interrupting.' I take a step back out of the kitchen. 'I'll let you ladie's finish your coffee. ' Before I can turn Bonnie shakes her head and rises.

'Actually Lydia was just about to show me her koi pound.' A look of confusion crosses over the older womens face before she quickly realizes what is going on and rises as well.

'That's right. It's just out this way dear.' She leads Bonnie out the back door, shutting it behind her.

We're both quiet for a few moments before she shakes her head and stands up. 'I'm sorry. I know I should have told you about the wedding.'

I laugh because I don't know what else to do. 'The wedding? You think that's what this is about?'

She halts in her advancment and nods. 'You're right. Alot of things have happened lately that I've chosen to keep private. I'm not going to apologize for that though Stefan. Tyler and Klaus, that wasn't your problem, it was mine. I am sorry that you're upset though.'

'Upset?' A flash of irritatation flashes through me and I close the distance between us. 'Caroline I'm not upset. I'm pissed off!'

'Ok fine you're pissed because for once I didn't tell you everything but'

'It's not about wanting to know everything. You could have been hurt or worse' I stop and take in a sharp breath. The twisting in my gut wrings tighter.

Her hand flys up to her forehead. 'Stefan I am fine. Look.' She pats her face, then her shoulders and turns her arms over and pats each of them. 'All in one piece.' She gives me a small smile but I can't return it.

'How is it so easy for you to block out the hell he put you through?' Her eyes finially leave mine. 'He is obsessed with you Caroline and worse he think's it's love.'

She stomps her foot in frustration and spreads her arms out wide. 'But I don't love him.'

'And eventually he's going to realize that! What do you think he's going to do then?' The first flash of fear enter's her eyes. 'I'm not asking you to tell me everything, but when thing's like Klaus showing up after all of this time, happen? I need you to tell me.' Tears are falling slowly from her eyes and I take a step closer. 'OK?' She nods and I pull her into my arms. 'I can't lose you.' She nods against my chest and we both pull away. I take a breath and try to calm myself as much as possible before having to ask the next question. 'What did he say to you?'

She wipes her eyes while shaking her head. 'Nothing. He just popped up and was all Kalus-ish with his _ello love_.' Her immitation almost made me laugh. Almost.

'And that's it?'

'Yes.' She looks down at the floor.

'Caroline.'

'Fine. He said something like I'll be seeing you or whatever.'

I close my eyes and try to calm myself. 'I'm going to kill him.'

'You're not going to kill him.' I can hear the amusement in her tone.

I open my eyes and there's a small smile on her face. 'I want to kill him.'

Now she laughs. 'It's Klaus, he's never met a person who dosn't want to kill him.' She's trying to make me laugh.

'You have to promise me you're going to be careful. That you won't let him suck you in with his charm again.'

'Hey!'

'So this Tyler thing. Do I need to brush up on my how to kill a hybrid manual?'

She laughs and wipes the last of her tears from her eyes. 'No. I'm ok. Although you may want to pick up a copy of how to deal with a witchy bride for dummy's.'

I laugh. 'Yeah, right. I'll admit, you guy's had me with that one.' Slowly she lifts her head and a corner of her mouth rises. Shit. 'No.' I shake my head at the absurdity. 'No.'

She jumps feet first into a rant. 'She was complaining a few months back about how the wedding party was uneven and talking about how I was going to have to carry her train because I didn't have an escort and I made this joke – well it was less of a joke and more of an observation really – in no way was it a suggestion, about how nice it would be if you were here, that way you could be my partner and the next thing I know she's fitting you into rehersal dinners and asking me if I'd gotten your measurments yet. Then last week when she said how excited she was that you were finally going to be here so you can finally be fitted for your tux I just didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't tell you because I was afraid if I did that you'd never show up because I missed you and wanted you to be here for graduation so instead I just nodded and said that you were excited too and now your both mad at me.' She stops and begins chewing on her bottom lip. I'm honestly at a loss for words. 'I know what your going to say, but Stefan this is their wedding and they're asking you to be apart of it. You can't say no to that.'

She's right, I know it, but still. 'Do you know how insane this sounds? I havn't been apart of their lives for five years Caroline. Is Jermey even OK with it?'

'It was his idea.' We look over to find Bonnie standing alone in the doorway. 'You're apart of us all Stefan, no matter how far you run or for how long. If it weren't for you, none of us would be where we are right now.'

I can't help but look at Caroline when she says this and to think of Elena. I turn back to Bonnie and she can apparently read my thoughts. 'You know what I mean.'

Caroline looks confused for a beat before she shakes her head in irritation. 'Oh do not even go there.' She points a scolding finger at me. 'I know you like to play broody boy and think that everything bad in the world is your fault, but it's not Stefan. Kathrine killed me and if it weren't for you I'd be exactly like her.' She pauses a second seemingly rethinking that statement. 'OK well not exactly like her coz she's a sociopathic bitch – but I wouldn't be who I am.'

I smile despite the topic and catch Bonnie shift nervously out of the corner of my eye. When I look to her she looks like she feels uncomfortable. She smiles back at me then shakes her head. 'I can't say thing's wouldn't have been different, but I can say I wouldn't change anything now. We want you to be apart of our wedding, please don't say no.' There's a small hopeful smile on her face and I can't help but nod. She and Caroline clap and squeal in unison beofre she jumps into a rant about tuxes and measurments.


	7. Seven

I can't remember the last time I was actually tired. All I want is to go back to the B&B and go to sleep. Three hours with an anxiety ridden bride will do that to you apparently. Somehow Bonnie talked me into not only joining them in Caroline's fitting, but into going in for my own measurements as well. So I am officially apart of the bridal party. That thought hasn't ceased to put my stomach in knots.  
We've just left Bonnie and are now headed toward Damon's. Damon and Elena's. Again my stomach twists. Caroline is sitting in the drivers seat singing along with some song that I've never heard and when it end she turns down the radio and looks at me.

'That was really nice of you.'

'What?'

'Agreeing to be a grooms men. I know it's probably the last thing in the world you want to be doing but it means a lot to Bonnie.' I shrug and she sighs. 'It's going to be ok Stefan, we can even leave early if you can't handle it.'

I shrug again and wonder how she always knows what I'm thinking. 'I feel like I'm intruding on everyone's lives.' She looks irritated by my words. 'What?'

'It's your home too.'

'No it's their home. Together.'

She sighs. 'I thought you said you were over her?'

Now I'm irritated with myself, I hate sounding like the pining ex, especially because I'm not. 'I am. But it doesn't make it any less uncomfortable for me. That place isn't my home anymore, or at least it doesn't feel like it right now.' She gives me a sympathetic smile and I sigh because I hate more then anything to be pitied. I put a smile on my face and try to sound as convincing as possible. 'I'll be fine.' She doesn't look convinced but there's no time to say anything because at that moment the house comes into view and as luck will have it Elena is standing outside and see's us. Prying ears has the conversation being dropped, at least for now.

We pull to a stop and she is at Carolines door in an instant, it seems she doesn't even notice me as she fractically pulls her hand through her hair. 'I am so happy to see you right now!'

Caroline is practically bouncing as she get's out of the car while I buy time by turning off radio and rolling up my window, before leaning over and cutting the engine. I listen while Elena rant's about the band and how Ben, whoever he is, had messed up the liquor order. I make my way around the car, slowly, and come to a stop beside Caroline. Elena stops mid rant and stares at me as if I've grown a third head. I look from her to Caroline who shrugs. Before either of us can say anything Elena slams into me, throwing her arms around my neck. I look frantically up at Caroline who looks just as surprised as I feel. Lucky for me she pulls away rather abruptly, even though there is a smile on her face she is crying. I shake my head in confusion and she laughs.

'I'm sorry. I'm just so happy you stayed – that you came! I mean after last night and everything you said, we weren't sure we'd be seeing you again anytime soon.'

Clearly I'm supposed to say something but I'm not sure what. 'I'm here for Caroline's Graduation.' Her face falls and I realize to late that she'd been hoping that my being here meant I was more ok with things then I let on. I don't want to make her feel better, tiny Dark Stefan on my left shoulder is telling me that she deserves to hurt, but the tiny blonde with wings on my right shoulder is tapping her foot and giving me that scolding look that never ceases to put me in my place. I glance over at Caroline and she is mimicking tiny conscience Carolines actions. I try my very hardest to not sigh. 'I mean for all of yours of course.' It's they best I can do and even if it is a stretch of the truth, it's going to have to suffice. Her posture straightens and her smile is unable to mask the hurt behind it and I feel bad but we both let it go.

'Great. So as I was saying,' She turns to Caroline and they share a brief look that I assume they're under the impression I don't see, and then jump back into party talk. They're looking over a check list when I become entirely to uncomfortable standing here doing nothing.

'Uh, excuse me, Elena?' She gives me that same three headed Stefan look again. 'I'm sorry for interrupting. Is Damon' The words feel uncomfortable in my throat and I have to stop. I take the smallest satisfaction in that fact that both she and Caroline look just as uncomfortable.

She nods and points over her shoulder with her pen. 'Yeah he's inside securing the Salvatore family fortune in the vault?' Caroline raises an eyebrow and I laugh. Elena shakes her head just as confused as Caroline. 'I'm to busy to figure out what he was talking about so I let it go.'

Caroline looked to me 'The Salvatores have a fortune? How am I just hearing of this?' Sh mocked anger by crossing her arms over her chest. 'Although it does explain how the two of you have such nice clothes. So what is it like gold bars and jewels? '

I shake my head at them and laugh again. 'No not exactly.'

It's Elena who look curious now. 'Wait what do you mean not exactly?' Simultaneously they step closer. 'Oh my god is there actually gold in there?'

I only laugh and turn to make my way into the house. They follow closely on my heels, so I don't have the luxury of readying myself before I'm metaphorically pushed through the door. Elena moves around me as I come to a stop, Caroline takes hold of my hand squeezes it. Just barely, I hear her whisper for me to breath and I exhale slowly through my nose. I squeeze her hand back once and then release it. As if nothing had happened she continues on around me and follows after Elena. I notice that they're going in the direction of the vault and I shake my head. Deciding not to follow I take a few more steps inside and then enter the main room. Everything looks the same. I don't really know what I was expecting to find, maybe something that screamed domestic life, but instead, aside from a few boxes sitting on the dining room table, I was met with a room that looked no different then it had five years ago. My curiosity getting the better of me I walk over and peer inside. I smile and lift the box.

As I make my way down the familiar halls I feel for the first time since arriving back in Mystic Falls, a sense of being home. I hear Caroline and Damon fighting before I even see the vault.

'You break that you buy it blondie.'  
'Oh no! I hope I have the dollar it would take to replace all of this crap! What is this thing anyway? It's broken.' I turn into the room and see Caroline struggling with a small round box.

I see Damon's seething face and I know there's a smart ass comment on the tip of his tongue so I put the box down and take the box from her. 'Like this.' I twist and the box pops open. Music begins to play as I hand it back to Caroline. 'And this stuff isn't crap. That for instance.' I point to the box she is turning in her hands. 'Is from the early eighteen hundreds, it was our Grandmother's.' She stumbles and then gently places it back on the table. She looks up at me embarrassed.

'It's beautiful.' She looks guiltily over at Damon. 'Sorry.' He shrugs it off and she goes back to looking around the large room.

Damon walks over to the box in front of me and pulls out a bottle of Whiskey. A smile pulls the corners of his mouth up as he looks it over. 'Beautiful isn't it?' I laugh and shake my head as he places the bottle back in the box. 'So you came back this time.'

'I never left this time.' He looks me over then nods and starts moving stuff around on the table.

'So you're home for good then?'

There's that word again. Home. 'No. Just back from now, I leave next week.'

He looks up at me and looks as if there's something he want's to say when Caroline cut's into our conversation.

'He'll be back in a few weeks for his final fitting though and then again for the wedding.'

He and Elena give me matching looks of surprise. She's the one who speaks though. 'You're going to be in the wedding?'

She doesn't sound put off by the idea so I shrug. 'Bonnie's pretty convincing.'

She smiles. 'I'm glad. It wouldn't feel right without you there.'

Damon is still staring at me so I look over at him knowing that he's the only person I can count on to be completely honest. 'What do you think?'

He shrugs uncaring. 'I'm all for it.' I narrow my eyes, waiting for the smart ass comment I've learned always comes with Damon. 'I mean this way blondie isn't the sad seventh wheel for a night.'

Elena's eyes meet mine and we roll them simultaneously as the two begin to argue. With a laugh she looks away and continues looking through shelves. I continue to listen to the two of them argue for a little while longer before it starts to go to far. With a sigh I take a step between them and hold my hands out. 'Come on guy's, can't we call peace? For now at least?' I don't catch my words in time, but Carolines eyes shine as she looks passed me at Damon.

Elena stands from her squatted position. 'Who's the Comic book fan?'

I laugh and point over my shoulder, thankful for the distraction. 'That would be Damon.'

She cocks an eyebrow at him and never one to show humility he shrugs. 'Those are all mint, first editions, do you have any idea how much money they're worth?'

She nods while opening a display case and picks up a pair of nikes. 'And these?' I laugh as he rushes over in a panic. Elena hold her hands up in surrender and he places them back in the case gently.

'Do you have any idea what these are?'

Caroline lifts an eyebrow. 'Dirty old shoes?'

He glares at her as he shuts the door. 'They're not just any shoes. These are the shoes Michael J Fox wore in Back To The Future.'

Both girls start to crack up, I look over at Caroline and she stops laughing. Her eyes narrow and she points a scolding finger at me. You distracted me with the geeky comic book thing.

'It's not geeky.' Damon defends but she doesn't hear him.

An evil smirk appears on her face and she crosses her arms while turning to Elena. I feel at a loss for words, and am unable to stop her. 'Elena, did you know that our dear old Stefan was a Hippie?'

Elena turns to me with wide eyes and I close my own, but not before seeing the smirk on Damon's face.  
'No way.' There's a mix of disbelief and amusement in her voice. I open my eyes and she turns to Damon for confirmation.

He smirks. 'It's true. Although I must say, I much preferred hippie Stefan to grunge Stefan,'

Caroline turns to me with wide eyes. 'Grunge?! You did not say anything about grunge! Oh my god I would have killed to see that!'

Worry fills my gut and nervously I slide my gaze over to Damon who already has an evil smirk on his face. Damn it.


	8. Eight

I trailed my fingers along the leather spines of journals lining the shelf. Memories flooded my mind, names, faces, tears. Unspoken thoughts screaming at me, unrelenting and unwilling to let me forget. With a heavy sigh my hand drops to my side and I look around once again at the seemingly untouched room.

'I come in and dust once in awhile.' I turn toward the door and find Elena standing just inside the doorway her arms crossed over her chest.

I wander over to my desk and run my hand over the shiny surface. 'Thank you.' It's the first time we've been alone together and the air is instantly heavier. The irrational feeling that the room has suddenly grown smaller overwhelms me.

Shes silent for a long time as she wanders in and looks around. 'I spent a lot of time in here, after you left.' I don't know how to respond to that. She sits on the oak chest at the foot of my bed and leans forward on her knees. She looks up at me expectantly and I realize that the time has come for the talk I'd been dreading for the last five years. With a sigh I lean back against the desk and cross my ankles.

'I'm guessing we're doing this now?' I take solace in the fact that there's a house full of people down stairs.

'You had your chance, don't I deserve the mine?'

I barely restrain from outright laughing, she honestly thought my little outburst yesterday was everything I had wanted to say. I nod and cross my arms over my chest. 'You're right. We both deserve the chance to say our peace.' I gesture for her to continue. 'You go first.'

She seems to understand what I'm saying, that I hadn't even touched on what I wanted to say to her. She looks up at me silently then sits up straight, a gesture I recognize as her readying herself for battle. 'OK. Well first of all, you were wrong.' There's an edge to her voice and I'll admit that of everything I expected to hear, that wasn't it.

I lean forward with a raised eyebrow. 'I'm sorry? What exactly was I wrong about?' I can't keep the edge out of my voice.

'A lot of things.' I sit back, feeling like I've been slapped in the face. 'But for starters, what you said last night.' Tears brim her eyes and I can tell she's struggling to not let them fall. 'My brother is the only family I have left in this world Stefan. So how you can think that I have never fully grasped the situation, is unbelievable to me.'

Well damn.'You're right and I'm sorry.' She is and I am. 'I shouldn't have said that.' She nods while looking down at her hands. There's silence for a long time and I begin to wonder if she's decided to not continue after all. I'm trying to find a polite way of asking whether she's finished or not when she shakes her head again. Her shoulders fall and the stubbornness that was there just a moment ago is now gone.

'You just left.' Her words take me by surprise. When I don't respond she looks up at me and lifts her shoulders. 'After everything, you just walked away without so much as a goodbye.'

'What did you expect me to do? Sit around and pretend like everything was ok? Act like it didn't kill me to see the two of you together?' I snap irritably .

She rises to her feet in a flash, fire blazing in her eyes. 'I expected, that after the hell we'd been through together, that you would think enough of our relationship – of me, to at least say goodbye! I thought I had at least earned that Stefan!' I'm effectively silenced. 'But you just left! I spent months blaming myself for hurting you, for destroying yours and Damon's relationship. Damon spent months looking for you, going out of his mind, blaming himself for whatever you were out there doing. Six months! Six months of not knowing and then one day Caroline just disappears without a word. Then she calls and the only thing she'll say is that she's fine and that she's with you.' Her voice cracks and she takes a second to steady herself. 'And then suddenly all I could keep thinking was, what hadn't I seen? Why would he call her instead of me?'

I understand the meaning in her words and suddenly my irritation is reignited. 'Are you asking me if I cheated on you?'

'Of course not.' She give me a look that reminds me entirely too much of Damon. The look that says, don't be stupid. 'I just couldn't get passed the fact that – you chose her.' The way she says it, she almost sounds hurt and I'm left confused. She sighs and her hand drops tiredly to her side. 'When you needed help Stefan, you called her. You couldn't depend on me. Even as just a friend.' She sits back down with another sigh.' And I'm sorry for that.' All of her energy seems to evaporate, taking my anger with it.

I'd forgotten this feeling. This need to ease her guilt even if it meant taking it on as my own. Tentatively, I sit beside her. 'It wasn't your fault. I let you down. On more than one occasion.'

She shakes her head, a sad smile on her face. 'After everything, you still refuse to accept that not everything wrong in this world is your fault.' I feel shaken by her words, it having been the second time hearing them today. We're both quiet then, she picks up my hand in hers and I lace our fingers together. 'The night I turned.' She looks up at me, see's the question in my eyes. 'That's when it was over, wasn't it?'

I can sense the sadness in her words. She's spent the last five years thinking this was because I couldn't love her as a vampire. With a sigh I shake my head. 'No. Elena.' She looks away, not believing me. 'We – we were over before it ever started.' Her attention snaps back to me and I let go of her hand.

'What?' There's an unmistakable edge to her tone.

'No. I don't mean. You and I … we were … epic.' We both smile a bit at the word. 'But you and Damon, I think that was' I pause trying to find the right words. 'fate.' She looks away with a hint of guilt in her eyes. That nagging feeling to put her mind at ease tugs at my chest yet again. 'It's ok.' She still refuses to look at me so I take her hand again and tug on it gently. She looks over but still refuses to meet my eyes. 'I never could have gotten you through it all Elena. Not the way he did. And nobody but you could have saved him from himself. I knew that from the start. I just, I guess I wasn't willing to accept it. It doesn't mean that what we had wasn't real.' She wipes a falling tear from her cheek and I'm surprised by the tears filling my own eyes.. 'We were a road we both needed to go down to get where we are.' When I finish, I'm left feeling a bit raw. I don't know where the words came from, but from the second I opened my mouth, everything I'd known was true for so long but was to angry and hurt to accept, just came spilling out.

'I really am sorry Stefan.' She sniffles.

I let go of her hand and pull my fingers through my hair. 'Yeah I am too.' She finally meets my eyes. 'I should have said goodbye. You deserved more.' A silence falls over the room, the earlier tension gone. Through the silence the pounding of the music echos around us. 'We should get back down there.' She nods and I stand up. I'm already at the door when she calls my name. I turn and find her still sitting in the same spot.

'I really don't want to but - I need to ask.' Interested I take a step toward her. She clears her throat, her eyes locked on her ring which she's twisting back and forth. 'Why did you call her?' Buying time I walk back over and pull the desk chair over to sit across from her. Leaning forward on my knees I struggle, not for the first time, to remember the moment I'd decided to call Caroline. To remember what was going through my mind at the time. She watches me intently, waiting for my answer. Suddenly she shakes her head and stands up. 'Never mind. Forget I asked.'

'No, wait.' Slowly she sits back down. 'I don't know why.' She doesn't look like she believes me. 'All I know is one second I was … feeding and the next – she's on the phone, telling me she's on her way.' My answer obviously doesn't sate her curiosity. 'But even though I may not know why, I don't regret it. I was falling apart Elena. In the kind of way that only Lexi had ever been able to help come back from.' She looks away and I know she is remembering that night. 'Sometimes, I think that maybe that's what happened. She sent her to me.' There's something in her eyes and it take me a second to catch on. 'To help me. She sent her to help me.'

'To get you through it … in a way I never could.' Again there's something in her eyes as she repeats my earlier words, something I can't understand. 'Do you love her?' She asks curiously and I'm stunned speechless. Before I can answer her attention moves to the door behind me. I turn just as Caroline walks through the door. She looks from me to Elena and back, surprise clear on her face.

'Uh – sorry. I was just' She stumbles over her words.

Elena stands up with a smile. 'It's fine. I better get back down stairs anyway, before Damon eats one of the guests.' Caroline laughs tensely as Elena passes her. Before she leaves she turns toward me with a smile. 'I'll ask you again later.' Then she's gone and the room falls silent.

I can feel her eyes on me as I stand to put the chair back in its place. 'Don't.' I turn to face her and find her in the exact position I expected to. Her hands are in her back pockets and there's a condescending look in her eyes.

She shrugs. 'I didn't say anything.'

'Yeah well you were thinking it.'

She sighs as I try to walk passed her and steps in front of me. 'What are you doing Stefan?'

I can feel her annoyance. 'Nothing. We were just talking.'

'Talking?'

'Yes, talking. You know that thing you like to do so much.' I tease playfully, earning a glare in return.

'Funny. You know what I mean.'

With a sigh I walk back across the room. 'Don't start.'

'Five years Stefan! It took you five years to be able to come back here. ' She walks after me, there's desperation in her voice. 'Don't let her pull you back to that place.'

I turn back, the tone in her voice instantly making me feel guilty. 'She's your friend.'

She sighs in exasperation. 'And I love her. But I also saw what she did to you.'

There's a sense of urgency in her voice now and I take a step toward her. 'There's nothing to be worried about, we were just talking. I promise.'

Her scrutinizing gaze is amusing but I bite back my laugh. 'About what?'

With a groan sit on the edge of my desk crossing my arms and ankles. 'How much I suck.' Lines form at the sides of her eyes and I know she's about to go on the attack. 'How much she sucks. Damon. You.' Her anger is instantly replaced with confusion and she crosses her arms.

'What about me?'

I don't want to tell her, partly because I'm afraid she'll be pissed and partly because I'm to exhausted to calm her down if she is. I know though that really I have no choice, she won't let it go. 'She was just – curious, about why I called you that night instead of her.' I trail off at the end, seeing the storm brewing in her eyes.

'Are you freaking kidding me!' I make a feeble attempt at quieting her down knowing that she's likely to gain the attention of all those in the house that can hear her, namely Damon and Elena. She gives me an incredulous look as I glance at the door. 'I don't care who hears me!'

'Ok I know but can you just' She's seething and I'm afraid that she might actually go down stairs and take her anger out it's intended target. 'Let's just go somewhere else. Ok?' Her gaze cuts to the door and back. She breaths deeply before reluctantly nodding.

We make our way through the crowd, a pissed off Caroline practically growling at anyone who doesn't get out of her way. She doesn't even pause as she glares at Damon who is leaning against the wall beside the door bottle in hand. 'Uh-oh.'

She disappears out the door leaving me behind with his smirking face.

He glances out the door feigning interest. 'Trouble in paradise?'

'Shut up.' I take the bottle from his hand and take a long drink from it.

His features shift just a bit. 'So I guess you're heading out.'

'Yeah.' There's disappointment in his eyes but his smirk is ever-present. ' But uh, I'll see you tomorrow at the Graduation.'

Before he can respond a shriek of girly laughter cuts through the house. Together we make our way toward the living room and together our eyes find Elena. She standing atop the dining room table with four other girls. There's a bottle hanging from her hand and a smile on her face as she dances to the music. I glance at Damon beside me, see the humor in his eyes and can't help but smile. I take one last drink from the bottle before handing it back to him with a clap on the back. He turns to me questioningly

'I'll see you later.' I can feel his eyes following me as I exit the house. When I see Caroline sitting in her car still angry but in less of a murdery way, I smile. Her glare follows me around the car and doesn't deter as I shut the door after me. Knowing better than to laugh I tap the dash-board. 'Lets go.'

'Where?' Her tone is much less angry then she appears to be and I think she is a bit disappointed in herself for not keeping up appearances. Smiling she shakes her head and starts the car her gaze cutting to me as she puts it into reverse. 'Shut up.'

* * *

Authors Note:

So, yeah lol ... I'm unsure of how I feel about this chapter. I think I might have been in such a space where I needed to get it written, get the whole Elena conversation over with and guilt over having not updated in a while that I sort of just forced it. That's how I feel at least. Anyway... no excuses for the lack of update ... writers block is an actual reason not and excuse lol Oh! Heads up to all who haven't looked at my profile here's a link to my live journal it just has character and story information on the stories I'm writing, you can check it out if you want ... or not .. .whatever.

In not so unrelated news ... I haven't been watching the show! I went on strike after reading on GetGlue (don't know if anyone else knows what that is but yeah check it out) that Jeremy died! I now have ten episodes on my DVR and the season finale is four days away! I don't know how I'm ever gonna catch up before then or if I even want to ... I'm scared lol Anyway ... opinions? Watch? Don't watch? Monday-Thursday marathon? Wait tell after the finale? Help! lol 3 ya!


	9. Nine

We screech to a stop just outside of city limits and I'm finally able to loosen my hold on the dashboard. She cuts the engine and throws her door open. Her anger was reignited when I refused to tell her anything until we were out of the car. When she gave me a pointed look I pointed at a pedestrian who had jumped back onto the curb as we sped by and reminded her that just because we were indestructible doesn't mean everyone else is. She didn't bother to shut the door as she made her way out onto the empty road. I thought about buying time by turning off the headlights but got out instead. Slowly I made my way around the car then leaned against the side of the car and brought my foot back up against the tire.

'Comfy?' She snapped, her voice echoing in the empty silence.

Amused by her hostility I cross my arms and shrug. 'It's a bit muggy out actually.'

'Stefan!' The single word is sharp as a sword but I only shake my head in amusement.

'You're honestly making a bigger deal out it then necessary.'

'I'll be the judge of that thank you. Tell me.' So I do and the up and down of her emotions play clearly on her face. When I'm done, for the first time since we met, I can't tell what she's thinking. Paired with her silence, the feeling is unnerving.

'Well?' She jumps and looks at me like she'd forgotten I was there.

'What?'

She's clearly fighting back a smile. 'You just – I mean – why do you look like that?'

'Like what?' She giggles then quickly covers her mouth, her eyes as wide as saucers.

'Like you're about to burst.' I tease.

She lowers her hand a bit. 'You have to promise not to judge!'

'Why would I judge you?'

'Because!' She stomps her foot in frustration but still is unable to stop smiling. 'It petty and insecure and very much pre-vamp Caroline!'

'OK?' I'm completely confused now. She walks around the car stopping in the light of the headlights.

'It's just, for as long as I can remember, everything has always been about Elena. And I know it sounds horrible because she's been through a lot, but I mean … haven't we all? We've all lost people we love. Parent's and friends, what made her pain different then everyone elses? Think about it Stefan, at one point or another we have all put our lives on the line for her; and I know she appreciates it, but sometimes I just – I wonder why. What makes her so special?' I'm completely thrown, this is not anything close to what I thought she might say. She drops her head back with a groan. 'See this is why I didn't want to say anything. Your judging me!'

Quickly I shake my head. 'I'm not I swear.'

She sighs dramatically. 'I love her Stefan. To death.'

'I know you do.'

'And I would without a second thought do it all again. But that's the problem. Everybody has always, without a second thought, believed she was worth it.' Her eyes lock on mine and I can see that she's struggling with herself, the tears threatening to fall, a sign of how horrible she feels for even thinking these things let alone saying them. She shakes her head sadly. 'Matt, You, Damon, you were all just always there, without a doubt in your minds that she was worth all of the waiting and the hurt. It didn't matter what she put you guy's through or for how long. She was worth it. Even when Matt and I were together there was always this part of me that knew he would go back to her in a second if she wanted him. And ok I can understand that because they've known each other since forever but you,'

She trails off, turning completely away from me. 'Me what?' I watch as she shakes her head back and forth, rakes her fingers through her hair. 'Caroline.' I take a step toward her and she turns around. For a moment she just stares at me and I can practically see the thoughts racing through her head.

'Do you remember that night at the bonfire?' She asks suddenly. I search my memory for that night and when it comes to me, it's my turn to look away. She laughs and it's neither angry nor sad. 'You looked at me like I was the most pathetic thing you'd ever seen and you told me point blank, it's not going to happen. You didn't even know me. You didn't even know her. But you didn't need to. Like everything else in her life, she had you without even trying.'

'Caroline.' I try to reach for her but she steps away with a shake of her head.

'No Stefan.' Frustrated with herself, she pulls her hand through her hair again. 'I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I swear. I just, what I'm trying to say is, I've spent the majority of our friendship feeling like second best, the runner up in the race for – everything. And wondering, why her?' The smallest hint of a smile makes it's way onto her face and I finally understand what she is trying to say. 'So when I hear that she's spent even a minute, wondering why me? A really small part of me just feels, for lack of a better word, really really good.' She laughs again while exhaling a long breath. 'I'm horrible aren't I?' Almost timidly she looks back at me.

With a small laugh of my own I shake me head. 'No. Your just, for lack of a better word, human.' She smiles in relief and climbs up on the hood of her car. She lays back and stares up at the star filled sky. After a second I lay beside her. We stay that way for a long time, I have no idea how much time has actually passed when I look over at her. 'I'm sorry.'

She closes her eyes and exhales slowly. 'You don't need'

Sitting up I scoot to the edge of the hood. 'If I ever made you feel bad about yourself, for even a second, I' My words fall silent because I can't for the life of me imagine anything I could possibly say to make up for it. 'I don't know what to say.'

With a sigh she sits up and slides off the hood. 'You don't need to say anything. It was a long time ago Stefan.'

I catch her wrist as she walks by. She stops and looks back at me. 'You're the strongest person I know. Your smart and loyal and a total bad-ass when you need to be.' She laughs. 'Your compassionate and … beautiful and have the ability to not only see the best in a person but to bring it out in them.' Tears are in her eyes again and she looks down. I bring her face back up with my free hand and tuck her hair behind her ear. ' You make me strong Caroline. I can't even begin to imagine what I would be without you.' Her breath hitches and silently a stream of tears slide down her cheek. I wipe them away with my thumb then pull her into my arms. 'I'm sorry for ever making you feel anything less then amazing.'

We stay there for a little while, then I pull her back up onto the hood with me. We stay reclined there, silently, my arm wrapped around her and her head on my chest, until the sky turns pink and the sun peaks over the trees. With a sigh I look at my watch. 'What time does Graduation start?'

She groans and rolls onto her back. 'Twelve. But I'm supposed to meet Bonnie and Veronica at your place at ten to get ready.' I choose not to comment on her calling it my house. We both slide off the hood and stretch.

'Speaking of Veronica.'

She makes a noise somewhere between disgust and irritation. 'What did she say?'

Laughing it off I shake my head. 'Nothing. She's just very … opinionated.'

She makes the noise again. 'Oh God she tried to sell you on the whole poor Damon crap didn't she?'

Again I laugh. 'Not everything she said was wrong. She just has a very unique perception of things.' Again I attempt to choose my words correctly.

She rolls her eyes. 'Unique my ass. She drank the Damon is a martyr kool-aid and has been trying to get us all to take a sip ever sense.'

I laugh as she moves around me toward the drivers seat. 'Well either way, I'm just glad he has somebody looking out for him.'

She stops at the door and looks back at me. 'Hey. We all look out for him thank you very much.' I'm surprised by the hint of indignation in her tone. 'God knows with how big of an ass he is he doesn't make it easy but the reality is, he is one of us. And so are you no matter how hard you resist. And we, including Damon, have always had each others backs. Even if while simultaneously wanting to stake one another in it.' Smiling wider then I thought possible I lift an eyebrow and she glares. 'And if you ever tell him I said that I'll go torture chamber on your ass.' Laughing I get in the car and she follows. She starts the car and I stop her before she puts it in gear.

'We good?' I ask tentatively.

A huge smile spreads across her face. 'Always.' With a sigh I release her arm and she puts it into drive.  
We're at a red light when I shift in my seat with a smile.

'So'

The light turns green and without pulling her attention away from the road she shakes her head. 'Unimaginable amounts of pain.'

* * *

**AN: Short, I know. But I had the idea in my head and well ... there it is. I hope you all don't think I'm anti-Elena ... because I'm not ... really ... just sometimes I think they take the whole - poor Elena, save elena, I'm in love with Elena, thing to far and it gets on my nerves lol Also I just rewatched the pilot episode the other day and I felt bad for Caroline. OH ALSO ... I did watch the finale! Not when it actually aired because like I said I was wayyy behind but ... O.M.G. also ... am I the only one kind of confused by Carolines whole anti-Damon/Elena thing because he's such a bad guy but also at the same time they have her falling for Klaus? I get confused with the writers sometimes. At those times I decide to write about the only relationship/couple that actually makes sense to me. It's the only one with an actual background in my opinion ... I mean Caroline and Stefan started out bad then became friends, helped each other through stuff etc etc. It's not just like hmm ... Lets stick these two together and then these two together ... and shell love him this week and him next week. I just kind of feel like sometimes the just force the relationships sometimes... BUT maybe it's just me ... I still love the show and am obsessed with it despite my issues.**

So to answer some of the reviews...

Davis22: I completely agree. I was kind of irritated by how quickly Damon and Elena got together on the show. I mean they made such a big deal out of everything for so long and nobody wanted to hurt Stefan but then they break up and it's suddenly like bam! It bugged me lol which is why I made it so that a year or a little over had passed before they got together. It made me feel better lol

luv4ed: My intention was always to make Veronica just a bit irritating. I don't really know why ... I didn't give her much thought at the beginning other then her name and existence. Then after I started writing the second chapter I just got it in my head that **she was going to be kind of so - in your face with her opinions that it would get on the nerves of all of her friends which I planned on bringing up in this chapter sometime around the middle of the last. Hopefully I can make everyone equally like and dislike her simultaneously.** **I promise she will have good qualities too and that was pretty much the extent of the severity of what she says to Stefan regarding her whole poor Damon mind set. Also I think it's very real to have a friend who is willing to defend you when everyone else is kind of thinking your the worst person in the world. I don't think it really came off as her saying that Damon's the victim and such a good guy ... she even said yeah he's an ass** **and you were hurt and it hurt him that he was part of the reason why ... but it wasn't always intentional and at the end of the day good or bad, you can't help who you fall in love with and your family is still your family. And that they were the only family each other had left.** **Also in the first chapter Elena dind't break up with him because she'd chosen Damon, she broke up with him because she didn't think she could be with him and really learn to live as a vampire without pulling him over the edge. She wasn't really thinking I want Damon and not you at the time. He knew that she had feelings for Damon but at the same time he knew she was right and he couldn't handle it so he left. Neither of them ever intended to hurt him. Also I never intended for the whole Damon Elena thing to seem like nothing. There was meant to be tension and discomfort, but at the same time they didn't want to make an uncomfortable situation worse, hence them asking him if he was coming home, which is why Stefan made things clear in the end. Still they're in a relationship, it's not as if he doesn't know that. They can't just pretend like they aren't. They really weren't even together in that chapter except for when she went to the bar and he was holding her hand and then at the end. That's not really flouncing around** **to me. Anyway I hope you continue to read. =)**

AS ALWAYS ... Good or Bad, reviews are always welcome and helpful.


	10. Ten

Damon, Jeremy and I stand awkwardly waiting among the mass of people waiting to congratulate their loved ones. The silence between us might have been bearable if it weren't for all of the laughing and cheering around us.

Damon rocks back on his heels, his arms crossed over his chest, and gives me an overly forced smile. 'Nice weather we're having.'

Jeremy shakes his head at him. 'Really?'

Smirking, he shrugs 'What? I'm making conversation.'

Again Jeremy shakes his head. 'Dumbass.' I laugh loudly and Damon shoots me a look which causes Jeremy to laugh.

'What's so funny over here?' We turn in sync and come face to face with a smiling Veronica.

'Nothing.' Jeremy replies with a smile and walks over to give her a quick hug. 'Congratulations.'

'Thank's.'

'Yeah congratulations. You just wasted four years of your life on a piece of paper.'

She punches Damon in the shoulder with what appears to be every ounce of strength she has. He stumbles back a bit from the force and laughs. 'Dumbass.'

Jeremy and I both let out a loud laugh and Damon glares at us. 'Congratulations.'

She beams gratefully back at me. 'Thank you Stefan.' Her face turns stern and she points a scolding finger back at Damon. 'Don't be saying any of that crap when everyone else gets here.' Instantly I sober up at the thought and look him over trying to see if he's taking her serious or not. I really don't want to kick his ass today.

He shakes his head his trademark smirk in place. 'I'm not an idiot.'

She snorts humorously. 'Well then you're one hell of an actor.' I'm just barely able to bite back a laugh.

'Where's everybody else?' Jeremy asks while looking around, bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet.

She rolls her eyes. 'Caroline's Mom caught us just outside the gate.' Damon smirks and Jeremy laughs, instantly I feel like an outsider. Veronica turns to me as if sensing my discomfort. 'The Sheriff hate's me.'

'Why?' I'm honestly curious.

She shrugs with mock confusion. 'I have no clue. I'm awesome.'

Jeremy shoots her a look. 'It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you met her for the first time while being hauled off in handcuffs.'

She squares her shoulders defensively. 'Hey the little barista bitch had it coming, I clearly told her'

'Two add shots and Soy Milk.' Damon and Jeremy finished simultaneously.

A pout formed on her face and she crossed her arms. 'Well I did.'

'I'm completely lost.' I'm a bit startled by Damon's hand slapping against my back.

'Consider your self lucky.' He smirks and she glares while making a face at him.

Their little back and forth goes on for a bit longer until finally, Bonnie, followed by Elena, Caroline and Matt, came into view. Jeremy rushes forward and picks Bonnie up in his arms and kisses her. She giggles as he puts her down and touches his forehead to hers. I'm not able to hear what they're saying to each other but the huge smiles on their face's are telling. Everyone passes them by while laughing. I meet Caroline's eyes and she's practically glowing. Somehow Matt end's up at my side before her, so I turn and shake his hand, pulling him into a quick hug. 'Congratulation's.'

'Thanks man.'

I turn to face Caroline and am met with Bonnie's smiling face. I pull her into a hug. 'Congratulation's.' I glance over her shoulder and see Caroline talking to Veronica and Jeremy. She glances up and shoots me an apologetic smile. Laughing I turn back to Matt and Bonnie. 'So did you guy's think you were going to ever make it here?' The both burst with laughter.

Matt shakes his head while slapping me on the back. 'Man, we didn't think we were going to make it to high school graduation.' We all laugh knowing it's the truth.

'What is so funny that my bestest friend can't congratulate me?' Her voice is playful and coming from over my shoulder. Smiling I turn abruptly and pick her up in a hug. She screams and let's out a giddy laugh. 'Put me down!' Laughing, I comply with her demand and bring her back down, as soon as her feet hit the grass though I pull her into my arms. 'You did it.'

I feel her relax as if she'd been holding her breath. 'I did didn't I?'

'Congratulations.'

'Thanks.' We pull back and take a step apart.

'So? How do you feel?' I search for any signs of her earlier reservations.

She instantly starts chewing on her bottom lip uncertainly but still is unable to stop smiling. 'I'm not sure.' She looks around at the mass of people. 'I don't think it's hit me yet.'

Suddenly Elena and Damon appear beside us. Elena is looking to Caroline and Damon is giving me a look I know all to well. It's amusement. Shaking my head I tune back into the conversation. Caroline is nodding in agreement to whatever Elena has just said.  
'OK well we'll see you guy's later then.' Elena looks over at me and I feel like I'm missing something. Did she ask me something? She gives me a small smile and pulls Damon along behind her. Once they're out of hearing distance, Caroline shoves me. Hard. 'What?'

'What do you mean, what?' Thoroughly confused I rub my shoulder. She put her hands on her hips and gives me a scolding look. 'Stefan you didn't congratulate her!'

'What? Yes I' I glance in the direction they disappeared to and I realize I didn't. Guiltily I look back.

'She's going to think you did it on purpose!'

'But I didn't!'

'Maybe not but she's doesn't know that.'

'Come on it's not that big of a deal.' Even as I say it I feel bad. She just gives me a look. 'OK! I know. I just - I guess I can call her.' I try to keep the uncertainty out of my voice as I pull my phone from my pocket.

'You can not call her!' She shouts incredulously before shoving me again.

'Stop doing that!'

'I will as soon as you stop being a jerk!'

'I'm not' I trail off, feeling the stares of the people around us. I can only imagine what their thinking. I turn and sure enough people are watching. It's then that I realize that we're the last of our group left. I turn back to her and she seems just as uncomfortable by the attention as I am. I grasp her upper arm gently, urging her forward. 'Can we talk about this somewhere else?'

'Yea, fine.' Subtly she pulls from my grasp and walks off while undoing her gown. I'm left with no choice but to follow. We're in the parking lot beside her car when she turns back on me with frustration. 'Tell me you didn't do that because of what I told you.'

'What?' It takes a second for me to catch up with her line of thinking. 'No. I told you it wasn't on purpose.' My words end on a weak note because the guilty thought sneaks into my mind that maybe subconsciously I had.

She groans and pushes my shoulder rougher then I think she meant to. 'Stefan!' She whines guiltily.

'You can't possibly make me feel any worse then I already do.'

'Stefan.'

'I know. I screwed up.'

'Stefan.'

'There's nothing I can' She stumbles backward and I notice that her attention is no longer on me. The look on her face has me on alert in an instant. I turn, following her gaze and take a step back toward her when my eyes lock on a smiling Klaus.

* * *

**Short little filler chapter that was originally a lot longer but as I was re reading it I realized that it didn't flow right as one chapter and I didn't want to rewrite it because I actually kind of like how it turned out - for once lol Anyway I hope you all agree and I promise Chapter Eleven will not take me nearly as long to post. Thank you all for your support and comments! **


End file.
